


Erwin's cock

by anaesthesia



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Crack, M/M, Non-Binary Hange Zoë, Slight Smut, slight D/s
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-07
Updated: 2014-09-07
Packaged: 2018-02-16 10:31:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2266392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anaesthesia/pseuds/anaesthesia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Levi!<br/>"Did you see? Did you see Erwin's cock?", Hanji asked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Erwin's cock

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry--  
> I blame this stupid chicken commercial.  
> I'm sorry.

"What the fuck is this?" Levi exclaimed, pointing at the wooden box filled with hay.

"Taking by its appearance and the sounds that it's making," said Erwin, a long sigh interrupting his sentence, "it's a rooster."

Levi pointed with his both hands at the box, eyes drifting to Erwin, waiting for a reasonable explanation.

When it never came, outraged, he cried out, "It's a fucking cock!"

"Yes, it's a cock," Erwin sighed once again, placing gently the box on the floor of his office.

"I see that, Erwin!" Levi shouted in frustration. "Why is it here?"

Erwin instead of giving him an answer, he circled his big desk, drawing from a drawer a sheet of paper. Levi's gaze was constantly glued on him, an eyebrow raised in confusion.

Erwin stood a few inches in front of him, giving him the paper, which seemed to be a letter. He was beyond angry. He was furious. Outraged. He snapped the sheet out of his hold fiercely and started reading it.

However, in the middle of the first line Erwin cut him off.

"Nile sent it to me- as a joke probably. Months ago, when we met in Sina for drinks, he said that I would never be able to raise an animal, much more a child. He also said that I'm even incapable of keeping alive my soldiers, let alone a child.

"I don't know why he came up with that. I don't even want to be a father..."

Levi's 'tch' caused him to stop, shifting his eyes from the paper within his thin fingers to face him.

"Shitty joke."

"I suppose," agreed Erwin, crossing the room and sitting on the leather, brown couch.

"Now, what?" Levi questioned him, one hand hooked on his hip. "What are we going to do with this... animal?" His glanced momentarily the box of the living creature, not even wanting to spare him a second glance. _Disgusting little thing...._

"He wrote in the letter that if I succeed on keeping it alive for a month, he will send some chickens, too."

Levi groaned, despair rolling already through his veins. He wanted to punch Erwin so much.

"We aren't a damn stable, Erwin." He fell on the couch beside Erwin, propping his legs on his lap, his hand coming over the temple of his nose and started massaging the spot there in expectation to ease the already growing pain in his head.

"No, we're not. But we are out of supplies and, foremost, food. Some fresh eggs every morning wouldn't hurt anyone. Protein will help-"

"Shut up right now, commander," Levi deadpanned, dragging in a long breath. "I'll not wear every morning my fucking apron and go and collect eggs."

"I didn't ask you to. Some other will do it."

Levi opened his eyes, looking at him as if Erwin was telling him something unreal, crazy. What he said was indeed crazy but still-

"You've already taken your decision, haven't you?"

"Yes," Erwin gave him an apologetic smile. _Damn him._

"It fucking stinks," he complained, pinching with his fingers his nose to prevent any more of the animal's bad odor to penetrate his nostrils and pollute him.

Erwin sighed, closing himself in turn his nose. "I know."

**xXx**

"LEEEEVIIIIIIII!!!" He heard Hanji's thundering voice- hurting his ears. He turned around on his heels, seeing a storming Hanji running towards him. He prepared himself for the worst.

He waited with his hands on his hips, crooking an eyebrow at them. They stumbled before his feet, panting, hair already tussled by the whipping air.

They looked up at him, eyes glittering with excitement. "Did you see? Did you see Erwin's cock?", Hanji asked grabbing him by his shoulders and lowering themselves to look directly into his eyes. Their faces were so close that he could smell their awful breath. Disgusting.

"Yes," he spat out blankly, jerking their hands away and making a step back.

"It's so little, Levi! I can't believe it! I thought it would be bigger. They usually are," she started rambling. Levi knew better than anyone that it was time to go.

He rolled his eyes as he started approaching the group of the cadets, waiting patiently for him. "So?"

"Levi, I have seen lots of cocks in my life. Erwin's is too small. It might be sick- oh my God!"

"Shut up," he said. He noticed that the recruits have turned their heads to them, their whole attention focused on them. "What the fuck are you looking at? Ten laps. Now," he ordered, voice cold.

"What if it is sick? I have to-"

"Shut up," he repeated before he flew away with his 3d maneuver.                  

**xXx**

It was an usual patrol at night around the barracks, just to make sure everything was intact and in order. Sleep was a luxury to him. So, he had more than enough time to spare.

He was wandering through the corridors of the dorms, when he heard whisperings. It was one o'clock in the morning. Everyone should have been in bed, long ago asleep.

The more steps he was making, the more louder the low voices were becoming.

"Is he sick?" he heard. Curiosity spiked and stepped closer to one of the doors, making though not a sound. He leaned closer, his ear touching the wooden surface.

"Who? Commander Erwin?", he heard another voice, this time more thick. "I don't think so."

"But Squad Leader Hanji said so-"

"They just extravagate," came another voice; higher, like a girls.  _Wait... These are boys' dorms. What the fuck a girl wants here?_

"He doesn't look ill."

"Yes, he looks just tired."

"Do you think...", a new voice trembled, embarrassed to form the question. "Do you think... Commander Erwin has a small cock?"

Levi quickly brought his hand up to his mouth, sealing his lips in fear of might his laughter being heard. He tried to calm down himself, taking some deep breaths. This was more ridiculous than he had ever expected.

Silence.

"I don't know."

"No."

"Probably not."

"He is a big man. I mean- he must be big, you know."

At this point Levi was biting his lower lip, trying to sustain himself from bursting out laughing and exposing his presence. He wanted to learn what the shitty brats were thinking about their commander.

"Captain Levi sounds satisfied."

"What?"

_What?_

Levi's sudden urge to laugh was cut like a knife.

"You don't know?"

"Know what?"

_Know what?_

"That Commander Erwin and Captain Levi are together."

"They are?" Three voices asked altogether.

 _They know?_ , Levi inquired to himself. He was cut off guard. He had believed that Erwin and him were enough cautious to not drag any suspicion. He was wrong. _Fuck._

"That explains what Hanji said."

"Maybe he fakes it."

Okay. That was it. He had had enough.

He opened the door, eyeing five amazed pairs of eyes. After a moment of realization, all five cadets stood up straight.

"Eren, what are you doing here?" He came in front of the terrified young boy, hands tied behind his back.

"Uhm..." Eren labored to make up an excuse.

"To your room. Now!" He ordered, stepping aside for the boy to leave.

"Yes, sir!" Eren saluted and exited the room, leaving behind Arlert, Kirstein, Springer and Ackerman.

"Ackerman, you too. You don't want me to see you in the boys' dorm again," he said as he watched the girl saluting and exiting the room.

"Sleep. Now," he ordered at the other three.

He left the room without glancing behind.

**xXx**

Levi loved baths. Levi also loved Erwin's exclusive bathroom; clean, with spotlessly white marble, fresh towels, flavored oils imported from Sina only for him by Erwin and, of course, hot streaming water in his service whenever he desired.

He loved that bathroom and he hated himself from breaking it but Erwin's reputation came first.

He grasped within his palm the stainless grip and broke several pipes, whatever seemed that it was important. Soon after water started dripping through the tubes. He ran out, easily sneaking out of Erwin's room without anyone noticing him.

Of course, after that incident Erwin had to bathe among the others soldiers. However, being a pain in the ass and having a different schedule from all the other soldiers, the hours he had picked to visit the public washrooms were when everyone else was either training or doing chores around the quarters.

Levi had to scheme something in order to change Erwin's schedule and force him into showering among the others. Easy to say, rather difficult to be done.

When Levi visited him in his office for today's training's review the same afternoon, Erwin announced him the bad news. Levi didn't react. He sat in his spot on the leather couch and stared, irritated with a frown on his face, the full of dust bookshelves. He had to clean them.

He wasn't concerned about his master-plan. Sooner or later Erwin would need to shower and Levi would be sure to show at the young cadets their commander as he was born.

"So, what now?" he asked mildly, scrutinizing his nails for any dirt lurking beneath.

"We don't have any money to spare, so this will wait," Erwin explained, keeping his head down, his hand writing rapidly something. "Can you handle it?"

Levi snorted. "I will survive, Erwin," he said flatly, his tone not wavering but clearly scoffing at the man.

**xXx**

"But Heichou we cleaned the bathrooms yesterday!" Everyone protested in one.

Levi rolled his eyes, his hand hooking on his hip. "I don't care. It isn't clean enough. It stinks like your ass. Now, everyone, grab your supplies! Come on! I don't plan on spending my whole morning babysitting you."

A mutual sigh left everyone's lips, soon followed by quick steps and buckets and brooms being picked up.

The door of men's public bathroom was opened and the recruits burst in - girls and boys included since it was known that everyone at this hour was at training. Levi was following behind with a smug face.

Yet, the once hyped youngsters stopped midway. Levi heard someone screaming - probably a girl.

"Oh, dear Sina!"

"Christa, close your eyes."

"Ymir, I can't see!"

"Eren-"

"Commander?!"

"Sir!"

"We're so sorry!"

"We didn't know..."

The trembling voices of the young cadets sounded like melody.

"Oh, it's okay..." Erwin tried to ease their misery.

Levi by that time was trying to sustain his laughter. He stepped into the room, eyeing the Commander of the Survey Corps, naked with his hands in front of his genital organs whilst foam of soap was covering his blond locks. Yet, everyone had the delightful pleasure to have a look on that gorgeous ass.

"Levi." Erwin addressed him, arching one of his eyebrows in one unspoken question: _What the hell do you think you're doing?_

Several moments passed of them just staring at each other. Erwin basically glaring at the shorter man and shifting in his place while Levi was standing with his hands on his hips enjoying the spectacle. In spite of his big hands covering his cock, everyone could get a glimpse of the treasure hiding behind. Levi smiled wickedly.

Someone of the group eventually coughed, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"Erwin." Levi responded indifferently.

"I thought you were done cleaning." His tone was strict, angry.

"You thought wrong."

"I see..." He paused, thinking as his eyebrows knitted into a frown. "Now, if you excuse me, could you get out-"

"We haven't cleaned, yet. Finish quickly showering, so we can start doing our job," Levi spat back, smirking satisfied as he saw sparks of anger shimmering in his eyes.

"We should go out-"

Levi immediately raised his hand, cutting off the soldier.

"No, Jaeger. You're staying to clean," he ordered harshly and, of course, all the youngsters fell into silence, his gazed shifting between the two men.

"Give me the towel, Levi," Erwin deadpanned, his eyes not wavering from Levi's silvers.

Levi grabbed the white towel, hanging from the wall a few steps beside him and tossed it at Erwin. One of his hand instantly left his lower part and reached for the flying towel, snatching it easily. However, only one hand on his cock did a poor job on hiding it from the public eye; the line of  light brown hair creating a trail down on his member as the hair got thicker, embracing his red cock, surprisingly long and thick -  which was filling completely his mouth and body as it was meant.

He quickly wrapped it around his hips, turning his back on the group of people watching him in astonishment and delight. In return, his other hand abandon his previous task of protecting his dignity and caught the other edge of the towel, rushed joining the two ends and covering himself completely - although not before providing another chance to the youngsters to relish his also exceptional backside, that Levi numerous times had licked and dragged his nails through it, leaving red marks on his pale skin, shoving his hard cock through his soft cheeks as they tightened around him, swallowing him entirely inside and eliciting lewd and too loud moans from the man whom everyone respected the most.

But also the same backside that he had a little mole on, which Levi adored kissing.

"Levi, come to my office after this," he said, his voice leaving no indication of refusal. He left without eye him again, hair still decorated with soap and body wet, dripping.

"Now, everyone!" Levi said. "I want to see this place gleaming in thirty minutes. Eren, you're in charge. Don't fuck it up."

"Yes, sir!" The young man yelled and saluted, proud of himself that Levi trusted him that much. Levi almost rolled his eyes.

He walked out of the room, certain that Eren would make sure his command would be executed as best as possible. Yet, the captain as soon as he was on the corridor he stepped aside, leaning against the wall to overhear the reactions of the recruits.

"I can't believe this."

"Me too."

"Christa, my princess, my innocent girl, did you see anything?"

"Ymir, you are hugging me too tightly."

"That was... unexpected."

"And weird."

"And massive!"

_Bingo!_

"Yeah. All the rumors were bullshit."

"I couldn't believe in my eyes! Not even Reiner or Bertl have it _that_ big."

"Kirstein, you watch their cocks?! Oh my God!"

"Stop it. No. Of course not! I just happened to see them in the showers."

"Squad Leader Zakarius is bigger though."

"He is taller, that's why."

"But not this much thick."

"Certainly not."

"I am impressed."

"Me too."

"Ymir, stop!"

"My pure goddess has been polluted!"

Levi walked towards Erwin's office, wearing a smirk of triumph across his face.

He didn't bother knocking the door. He, instead, let himself in, closing the door harshly  behind him - maybe with a little more power than he wanted.

"Lock the door," Erwin's voice came out hoarse and wicked. Levi shivered, anticipating what the commander had in mind. He did as he had been told. The vexing sound of his chair screeching across the wooden floor rang in his ears, the sharp glare of his commander coming soon after, watching him with dark blue eyes. His head was supported on his hand as his elbow was rested on the arm of the leather chair. The towel was still draped around his hips, showing off the intense v-line and prominent muscles of his abdominal. Levi licked his lips.

"You wanted me?" Levi said absent-mindedly.

"Yes," Erwin said back curtly.

"So...?" Levi started to feel uneasy, agitation peeking up.

"You disobeyed me, Levi."

"Yes," Levi breathed out, digging his nails into the skin of his palms.

"You mocked me in front of my soldiers."

"Yes," he muttered again, averting his eyes from his, looking down at the polished floor.  

"You didn't let me finish my shower."

However, this time Levi didn't voiced out his reply.

"You made me angry, boy," Erwin's voice was stern, causing his whole body to vibrate at each articulation of every word, making him weak.

"You left me dirty. Kneel," Erwin ordered and Levi eyed him immediately in confusion. His gaze was blank. He made a step forward, head bowing down when Erwin cut him off.

"Not there," he spoke out calmly. "Here." He opened his legs, pointing with his hand at the free space between his strong thighs. The towel wasn't too long enough and slipped open, revealing one bare and hairy thigh and falling between his inviting legs, covering his cock barely  but not a part of his balls.

He kneeled in front of him, resting his head on his bare thigh, a few inches away of his crotch. He closed his eyes and breathed in his scent.

"Now, you will be the one to clean me," Erwin whispered as he brushed his fingers through Levi's black locks. Levi leaned into the touch, humming in response. He leaned closer, brushing his lips across Erwin's lower part, his tongue daring out to lick off a drip of water. His fingers wandered though the soft fabric, untying it and letting it fall down at each side of his legs, before he nuzzled his head in front of Erwin's cock and giving it several cat-like licks.

**xXx**

"So, where do you keep your cock?" Levi asked lowly, playing with Erwin's hand, dragging  his index finger across the line of his fingers. He was sitting on his lap, head resting on Erwin's shoulder as the blond had wrapped tightly around his bare torso his hand. His other hand cupping his thigh.

"In the storage house, at the beginning of the forest."

Levi snorted. "You fucking sneaky bastard..."

Erwin chuckled. "Thank you, my love." he said, placing a kiss on his forehead.

"This... was all your doing, right?" Erwin suddenly asked after a long time of silence.

Levi shrugged. "Maybe..."

"Who is the sneaky here?" Erwin teased him before drowning him in a tight hug that Levi was incapable to escape from.

 

A month later, the irritating crowing of the damned rooster was waking him up every day and fresh eggs were always placed carefully on the plate of his breakfast.  

**Author's Note:**

> I was too bored to write smut. Sorry.  
> I was too bored to take this whole fic seriously. Again sorry.
> 
> Leave kudos and comments, if you enjoyed it - it will make me happy yay :D


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